tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78216182574131231102024-03-13T23:46:32.210+00:00Geoff Baker's Book BlogALL ABOUT MY BOOKSgeoff bakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307668476879475203noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7821618257413123110.post-69978264527191587022011-03-05T07:45:00.000+00:002011-03-05T07:46:00.157+00:00Wot? [Ed]<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0" ><tr><td valign="top" style="font: inherit;"><P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpFirst align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>RAGABOND PRESS<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>Lyme Regis<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle align=center><SPAN lang=EN-GB><A href="mailto:pressoffice@ragabondpress.com"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">pressoffice@ragabondpress.com</SPAN></B></A></SPAN><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>Mob 44 7966 473 919 <o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[what sort of word is fucking 'ragabond'? Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><U><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 14pt" lang=EN-GB>PRESS RELEASE<o:p></o:p></SPAN></U></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><U><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 14pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p><SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION: none"> </SPAN></o:p></SPAN></U></B></DIV> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 14pt" lang=EN-GB>BAKERBACK</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB> </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 14pt" lang=EN-GB>WRITER! </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[don't do the funny stuff, never works - Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 16pt" lang=EN-GB>BEATLES EX-PR PUBLISHES<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle align=center><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 16pt" lang=EN-GB>RUDE ROCK 'N' WOE BOOK </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[what is that meant to mean? Is this some sort of King's Speech exercise? – Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 16pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>After a six-year struggle </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[well hardly, six years to get out of bed before noon<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>– Ed.] </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>to get it into print, Geoff Baker - former PR to Paul McCartney, The Beatles and Oasis </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[yeah, we know all that toss – Ed.] </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>- is finally </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[finally? Have you been asked to frequently? What is this pompous finally? Fucking miraculously would be more accurate – Ed.] </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>publishing his rude, racy and irreverent </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[what was the point of that? This is not going to be read out loud, why didn't you say bloody rude and funny<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>– Ed.]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB> novel about the music industry.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>Rock Bottom </SPAN></I></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>is Baker's black-humoured but fond satire which pokes a tongue behind the scenes and between the sheets at almost every aspect of the record business. </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[Saucy – Ed.]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>The first limited edition of 1,000 copies </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[what's first limited mean? How many will there be? Oh, clever – Ed.]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB> will be available on Amazon priced £7.99 and £4.60 on Kindle.</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[Actually that's complete bollocks because I went on Amazon and they said it'd sold out and then my mate bought it from <A href="mailto:sales@ragabondpress.com">sales@ragabondpress.com</A>. I think this <A href="mailto:sales@ragabondpress.com">sales@ragabondpress.com</A> is a fucking front to cover the probability that the book's been BANNED of Amazon. Ed. ] [for being shit – Ed.] [And seven ninety nine's a bit bloody steep, isn't it? You're not Lenny Bruce – Ed.]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB> It will be published by Ragabond Press, a micro publisher that Baker set up with another former journalist, Jill Newton </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[here we go – Ed.]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>, after the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">UK</st1:place></st1:country-region>'s mainstream publishers refused to touch his book. </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[because they thought it would sell fuck-all – Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>Baker says <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Rock Bottom </I>is 'a work of complete and utter fiction'.</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[what the fuck else would it be? And you are not meant to be performing a belly dance, grow up for just ONE day in your life – Ed.] - </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>The 400-page paperback romps and ruts </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[who the fuck are you writing for this? Who says romps and ruts? Did you know that an of communication is familiarity? This starting to sound like an episode of The Clitheroe Kid – Ed.] </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>through the conjoined stories </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[good way of putting it, I bet somebody else suggested that – Ed.]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB> stories of a flagging rock star, his demented PR</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB> [bet you didn't need any help with that one – Ed.]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB> and a blackmailing fan who threatens to ruin the pop idol's reputation by unmasking a long-hidden sexual secret. </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[Ooer matron, somebody's turned off the lights! Who the FUCK are you writing this for, the Dickens desk of The Times? A long-hidden sexual secret – what, like he's got 4 dicks and he fucks cement? Why don't you just say gay? You should get out of the 1970s more often – Ed.] <o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'The star, Birmingham-born genius Ian Taylor, is not remotely based on anyone I've known,' said Baker, </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[pompously – Ed.] </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'I made him up and he is as fictional as Henry the Horse who dances the waltz.' </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[so shut it with jests, they are so crap and only Beatles fans get them. What? Well nobody said. I've never fucking heard of such a thing. JUST for the fans? OK. Well why is he writing to them like he's talking from a mountain in this weird 'smite thee' language? Fuck off yourself – Ed.] <o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'Instead of writing about actual people I've worked with, it was more interesting for me to create fictional <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">types</I> of that rock world – the musicians, managers, record company execs – and to have a laugh at what fame can do to people and how it can disastrously affect those who work around the famous. <SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[soapbox – Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'But what was of <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">most</I> interest to me was to make the fan the central character of the book; the fans' feelings are often overlooked in the music game so I made the fan the heroine for a change. </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[soapbox – Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'<I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Rock Bottom </I>is basically a celebrity love story, but it's quite sad in parts – rock 'n woe, we call it. </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[no we don't. Who is this we? We all of the 80,000 at your astonishingly-successful publishing company? It's a shit pun. Stop it – Ed.]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>It is also the flipside of <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">The X-Factor, </I>revealing the madness and misery of making it big, so in some ways it's a cautionary tale for those who long to see their name in lights.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[What? What are you, the Prophet Zorrah? It's not a cautionary fucking anything, it's not your place to make value judgements, chum – Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>MORE<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'The book is also rather rude. </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[Well, fucking stroll on. I'd never in a hundred years have expected that – Ed.] </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>We were thinking of having a Parental Advisory sticker on it as the vernacular of the business is certainly not kids' stuff </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[fuck off with the 'we' again, you are not a religious – Ed.] </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>and as a wordsearch revealed there are 864 f-words in the book </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[is that true? Bloody hell, really? – Ed.] </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>those who dislike bad language might be better off reading <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Trainspotting </I>instead<I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">.'</I> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>Although Ian Taylor's genius but mercurial temperament was drawn from Baker's imagination, he admits that various journalist characters who play supporting roles in the lurid drama were partly inspired by old pals from his newspaper days on Fleet Street. </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[that's your publicity knees capped, then – Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'I'll be interested to see if any mates from the hack pack that I used to run with recognise anything of themselves in the book<I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">,' </I>said Baker, 54, 'A number of them are editors now.' </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[that I used to run with? What are you now, the Scarlet Pimpernel? – Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>It has taken Baker more than six years to publish his novel. </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[you mean it took you five years to write and one year for Jill Newton to write properly, edit, set and publish – Ed.] <o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'I wrote the original story in three months </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[get you, Mr Competitive – Ed.] </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>, back in 2004. I got a leading literary agent and he enthusiastically sent the manuscript to every major publisher – but none of them would touch it with a bargepole</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[because it was the ranting of a madman – Ed.]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>. Four years of rewrites followed, my funds ran out and if it hadn't been for the support and belief of my wife Amanda throughout it all, I'd be rotting in debtor's prison.' </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[this is sounding a bit David Gray, although it is clear that your soul deserves some form of eternal detention – Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'Pissed off but unbowed', Baker and <st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Newton</st1:place></st1:City> – an old Lyme Regis schoolpal <SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>- formed their own micro publishing company, Ragabond Press. </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[chosen, and let's guess by whom, from the Book of Weird Names To Call Yourselves – Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'Jill and I re-met by chance after having not seen each other for more than 35 years. We talked about the book and realised that as she was trained as an editor and a sub and I was trained as a hack, maybe we could combine our skills for the book' said Baker </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[whose greatest skill appears to be winging it – Ed]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>.</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'So between ourselves we took on every aspect of getting a book done – editing, proofing, type-setting, layout, design, photography, distribution, marketing, PR, the lot.' </SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[you mean 'So between Jill and herself' – Ed.]<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>Now Ragabond Press, which is based in <st1:City w:st="on">Newton</st1:City> and Baker's home town of <st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Lyme Regis</st1:place></st1:City>, has seven self-penned books in production and is considering publishing other writers.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>'We're going to take several months to slowly plug <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Rock Bottom</I>, just like I used to with a rock album,' said Baker</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt" lang=EN-GB>[pompously again – Ed.]</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>, whose next project is Ragabond Press's <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">The Beatles Fanthology, </I>the story of the Fab Four told through the memories and stories of Beatles fans.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>FOR FURTHER INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>Geoff Baker<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Jill Newton<o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB>07966 473 919<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><A href="mailto:jill@ragabondpress.com">jill@ragabondpress.com</A><o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><A href="mailto:pressoffice@ragabondpress.com">pressoffice@ragabondpress.com</A><o:p></o:p></SPAN></B></DIV> <P style="MARGIN: auto auto 6pt; mso-add-space: auto" class=MsoNormalCxSpMiddle><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></B></DIV></td></tr></table>geoff bakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307668476879475203noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7821618257413123110.post-64081520330092775812010-10-27T14:12:00.001+01:002010-10-27T14:12:38.909+01:00BOOK BLOG 3<div class=Section1> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>BOXING THE JESUIT<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>So I got back to my editor at the publishers and said about this vulgarity business, may I run a few new words by you?<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>And she said 'what do you mean, <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style:italic; mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>new</span></i>?' <o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>And I said well, you know you said a lot of women readers won't like me using <b style='mso-bidi-font-weight: normal'><span style='font-weight:bold;mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'>twat</span></b>, what if I call it a <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>doodle sock</span></i> instead?<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>'No', she said.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>How about a <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style: normal'>cock alley</span></i>? I said.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>'No, still too vulgar and you're making them up'.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>I said no I wasn't, these were actual English alternatives from an official dictionary published in 1785 and how did she feel about '<i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>box the Jesuit</span></i>'? 'What's that?' she said and I explained it was <span class=SpellE>wanking</span> and she put the phone down. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>So I called back and said you know you don't like me calling Susie [the hero's adulterous wife] a cheating fucking bitch, how does 'she's a <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>buttered bun</span></i>' sit with you? And while we're on the subject, may I call her mouth '<i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style: normal'>a bone box</span></i>'?<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>She <span class=SpellE>tutted</span> huffily and I said oh, come on, these are much better words, let's reintroduce the 18<sup>th</sup> Century to contemporary popular culture. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>For instance, I argued, don't you think that a <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style: italic;mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>bum brusher </span></i>is a much better phrase for a schoolmaster? No, she said, she did not.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>What about <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style: normal'>fart catcher</span></i>, I said. 'What's a fart-catcher?' she said and I said it's what 1785 England used to call the personal assistant of anyone famous, because they walked so close behind their boss, and she said 'that's ridiculous' and I said, well actually, in my <span class=SpellE>experi</span>….but then I thought better of that.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>And then she said 'look here, times have changed and our authors must be far more politically correct these days' and I said did that mean I couldn't use <i style='mso-bidi-font-style: normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>Irish beauty</span></i> to mean a woman with two black eyes? <span class=GramE>Or a <span class=SpellE><i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style: normal'>scratchlander</span></i></span> to mean a Scotsman?</span> <o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>'<i style='mso-bidi-font-style: normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>I'm</span></i> Scottish' she said and she didn't have time for all this now as she had to go to the hairdresser. You mean the <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>nit-squeezer</span></i> I said and she hasn't phoned me back yet. <span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> </div> geoff bakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307668476879475203noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7821618257413123110.post-27684612323083656832010-10-26T15:42:00.001+01:002010-10-26T15:42:34.541+01:00Book Blog 2<div class=Section1> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>STOP BLOODY SWEARING<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Fuck a priest, I've just heard from the publishers and they said could I take out the vulgarities. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>They said 'we are reserving the right to judge that your book may be offensive or pornographic to others and this may <span class=GramE>effect</span> your royalties'.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Which others, I said.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>People who might buy your book, they said.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>So I said well hang on a minute, how the fucking hell <span class=GramE>am</span> I meant to know what people find offensive, who are these righteous <span class=SpellE>cunts</span>? And they said 'that's what we mean'.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>So now I'm having to go through the whole bloody book again, rewriting lines like "'<i style='mso-bidi-font-style: normal'><span style='font-style:italic;mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>Fiddlesticks!<span class=GramE>',</span> </span></i>exclaimed the mayor of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Hiroshima</st1:City></st1:place>".<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>I checked back with the publishers and said what did they call pornographic and they said 'well, you know' and I said no I didn't, actually, and they said 'look it up'. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>So I did and then checked back again and said it says here that there has not been a prosecution of textual pornography since <i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-style: italic;mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>Inside Linda Lovelace</span></i> in 1976. They said 'are you anywhere near inside Linda Lovelace?' and I said well there's no dentistry in the book, what else is banned?<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>I looked up some more, principally Section 63 of the Criminal Justice Act, and checked back and they said 'what now?' and I said that my attention had been drawn to a definition <span class=GramE>of<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>pornography</span> being 'a person performing oral sex with a dead animal' and they said 'yes, and?' and I said 'well how does that work, with it being dead?' and they said I was trying their patience. Only asking, I said. Look up the Obscene Publications Act, they said.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>So I did and then checked back and said it says here that a publication is obscene if it 'is likely to deprave or corrupt' and they said 'so?' and I said well, power corrupts so does that mean…. and they said 'just fucking get on with it'. <span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p> <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span lang=EN-GB style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'><span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span><o:p></o:p></span></font></p> </div> geoff bakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307668476879475203noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7821618257413123110.post-26490189338997494162010-10-24T16:58:00.001+01:002010-10-24T16:58:53.591+01:00Book Blog 1<DIV><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB>WHY I AM YEARS AHEAD OF GOD<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV class=Section1> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB>It has taken me five bloody years of miserable poverty and near-starvation to get my novel into print – which is pretty good going when you consider that publishers wouldn't touch God's first book for 1,600 years and <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">He </SPAN></I>had to kill off his main character in the rewrite.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB>God and I aren't the only ones to have suffered from publishers' clearly-questionable authority as the expert arbiters of what will sell. Apparently it took John Grisham two years and the rejections of 12 publishers before he could go on to shift 250 million paperbacks.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB>HG Wells had the same <SPAN class=GramE>problem,</SPAN> more than 10 publishers told him that his <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">War Of The Worlds </SPAN></I>was a crock of <SPAN class=SpellE>unsellable</SPAN> shit. Mind you, Stephen King topped that – <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">thirty</SPAN></I> publishers told him that the four-million-seller <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Carrie </SPAN></I>was rubbish. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB>When you add to the tally the many publishers who turned down Orwell's <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Animal Farm</SPAN></I>, the 23 of the same who rejected Frank Herbert's <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Dune</SPAN></I> and the dozen who said 'no way, never' to J.K. Rowling's first <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Harry Potter </SPAN></I>then you start to wonder not about how hard it is to get into print but what on earth qualifies anyone to get a job in publishing? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB>Do they only accept applicants who can display a marked inability to read, or at least can project poor judgement? Publishers must be the literary equivalent of those weathermen who told <st1:City w:st="on">New Orleans</st1:City> 'good morning <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Louisiana</st1:place></st1:State>, it's a fine day ahead and no winds'.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB>Seriously, how do publishers make a living when time and again and again it has been shown that they would not know how to finger a pulse if they had their heads up inside your carotid artery? What is the mindset that makes these presumably-educated, or at least sentient, oracles say 'you know what, I'm going to pass on this <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Death <SPAN class=GramE>Of A</SPAN> Jackal </SPAN></I>and instead go with <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Baking In Colour The Armenian Way, </SPAN></I>I've got one of my hunches about <SPAN class=SpellE>pirozhki</SPAN>'?<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB>Anyway, fuck '<SPAN class=SpellE>em</SPAN>, blindness is their problem and I don't care because at long last and after more heralding than an international symposium of <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Peter <SPAN class=GramE>And The</SPAN> Wolf</SPAN></I>, my book <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Rock Bottom </SPAN></I>is finally coming out for Christmas. I'll be detailing here soon how you can get it.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB" lang=EN-GB><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P></DIV>geoff bakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307668476879475203noreply@blogger.com8